PDF Ebook The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells, by Randi Kreger
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The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells, by Randi Kreger
PDF Ebook The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells, by Randi Kreger
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Review
This book offers hope for those who think their situation has none. --Rachel Reiland, author of Get Me Out of Here (Rachel Reiland)
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About the Author
Randi Kreger is coauthor of the groundbreaking bestseller Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (over 350,000 copies sold), and author of the Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder. These two books, which have been translated into seven different languages, have brought the concerns of family members with a borderline loved one to the international forefront. Kreger's website, BPDCentral.com, is one of the largest and longest-established sites about Borderline Personality Disorder on the web. Kreger is cofounder of the Personality Disorder Awareness Network and maintains Welcome to Oz, an online support group for family members of those with BPD. She gives presentations internationally to both laypeople and clinicians.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing (October 23, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1592853633
ISBN-13: 978-1592853632
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
209 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#21,068 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
WHAT READERS CAN LEARN FROM THIS BOOK1. How to recognize the behavior pattern of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), including: (1) Equating feelings with facts. (2) Jumping to negative conclusions without any supporting facts. (3) Assuming others are thinking poorly of them. (4) Catastrophizing. Thinking the worst-case scenario will happen no matter what. (5) Blaming others while being held accountable for nothing. (6) Quietly self-critical while repelling compliments. (7) Lying or blowing the truth out of proportion.2. How to properly respond to a family member who has BPD.3. How to distinguish between Higher-functioning and Lower-functioning BPDs.4. How a BPD spouse will argue like a young child, not be aware of his or her own emotions, overreact to either real or imagined rejection, and possibly be aggressively destructive toward self or others.5. How the non-BPD spouse will be blamed for all the marital problems, be "damned-if-I-do" and "damned-if-I-don't", be pushed away by BPD spouse and then blamed when he backs off.6. How medications can reduce BPD symptoms of depression, mood swings, dissociation, aggression, and impulsivity.7. The value of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) which accomplishes two opposite things: accepting the person with BPD, but teaching the BPD new skills, especially communication skills.8. How to assess whether or not to treat a person with BPD, a very difficult disorder to treat.9. The non-BPD person can learn: (1) How not to give in to threats or isolation. (2) How to practice acceptance of the BPD. (3) How to set limits on how much damage to take from the BPD. (4) How not to become pre-occupied with preventing an outburst from the BPD. (5) How to set limits and boundaries for the BPD. (6) How to practice deep-breathing at the outset of a BPD's outburst. (7) How to respond to verbal abuse from the BPD. (8) The value of empathy and "intentional communication." (9) How to diffuse a situation using non-combative statements, keeping one's face soft and one's tone calm and neutral, using positive self-talk, validating the BPD's feelings while standing firm by your limits. (10) How to use the least reinforcing scenario by standing still and remaining motionless. (11) Praising the BPD's good behavior.ENDORSEMENTSThis book has been endorsed by a number of professionals, before it went to publication, including:Dr. Robert Freidel, Distinguished Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Virginia Commonweath University;Dr. Blaise Aguirre, medical director of the Adolescent Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Center at McLean Hospital;Dr Jim Breiling, from the National Institute of Mental Health;Dr. John Gunderson, Prof of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School;Dr. Debra Resnick, a specialist in Dailectical Behaviorial Therapy:Dr. Freda Friedman, a DBT therapist.
Book has some helpful information but there's a strong similarities to most other books on the subject. I feel that there are some helpful information . Though it is really lacking and missing from many of these books. After much research I'm actually planning on trying to do a study for a process that would help parents and loved ones that have a family member with BPD communicate in a healthy way that with curtail the verabal and mental abuse many parents of people with this disorder and family members suffer. This is not an illness that just affects the people that have it it affects anyone associated with him
The first book presented the viewpoints of many people who thought they had no choice but to leave marriages (and it was hard to fault them). This book is filled with constructive ways to "hang in there" and to quit blaming yourself for "hard times". The suggestion that the person and the illness can be seen as two separate entities is very hard to embrace but I suspect that it is spot on. I will recommend this to anyone in a similar situation.
Perfect book to read after " walking on eggshells " it does give some tips they have the other book does not , if you were suffering by having a relationship with a borderline personality person in your life this book helps you to understand what , they're going through how difficult their life is , how they have to change it you can't do anything to help, except learn to avoid conflict with them ,
This book is well written but dangerous for non-BPs with abusive BPs. I read it cover to cover and had to put a warning here for non-BPs. I have tried the techniques and they do not work if your BP is abusive and will only trap you in an unsafe escalation. In spite of frequently referencing Walking on Eggshells and having a clear knowledge that BPs can be volatile and abusive at times not once in the book does she present the option of leaving and creating a drain-free and happy life. A non BP does not have to stay on an environment where they are constantly yelled at, belittled or abused and it is not the non BPs responsibility to depersonalise constant character attacks. Kreger's mantra is to depersonalise and desensitise to cope with BPD rages but this is a a ticket to the non BP losing themselves and their dream of a safe and peaceful life. Many non BPs who chose BPs as partners grew up with a BP parent and have been fine tuned to sacrifice and serve the whims and moods of others and in my pov the non BP would be far better served by getting therapy on how to be more self assertive and it be totally ok to say a loud and clear no without constant depersonalising or care taking of the BPs emotions to stay safe. I liked the first half of the book and it's a good outline of life and relationships with a BP but the second half is dangerous and is the kind of advice that causes a Non BP to suffer and also to do things that can provoke domestic violence. I hope Kreger revises this book and gives clear options for the Non BP that leaving is always an option. Life is short and it is the non BPs right to create a peaceful life and home without being yelled at and punished repeatedly. I hope this review helps someone who feels stuck to know that their are more options than just depersonalising and desensitising and that it is ok for you to leave your BP just do it safely with support if they are domestically violent!
This book was extremely helpful in transforming my relationship with my family member who has borderline personality disorder. It gives you lots of strategies to employ. When I first started doing the strategies, he was totally confused and backed away. Now he's used to it and likes the new me. He'll never change, but I can deal with him way better and avoid blow ups most of the time unless I am tired and forget to "handle" him. This sounds manipulative, I know, but the only other solution is to leave.
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